I've written many times about Change being hard. This is the first year I've considered that maybe it doesn't have to be. Living a life with greater ease, authenticity, more grace, compassion, inspiration and flexibility comes through letting go of limiting beliefs, and yes, control. Is perfection just letting it all be?
Here in the darkest of days, I’m seeing better than ever. I see the rewards of my curiosity; my endurance of some hard times and finding more ease with life. Creating a flexible mind is a matter of practice and muscle building; perhaps a different variety, but just as important as flexibility for our bodies.
Can we believe our way into our best life?
We are wired to believe…something. Often we hold onto beliefs that don’t serve us any longer. Beliefs are not necessarily truth or facts, and they are so powerful, they can limit us and keep us stuck and/or imbue us with unwavering confidence. You can choose.
I would have denied being a perfectionist at one time. I never thought that was a good thing. Turns out, I was right; it’s not a good thing, but I sure was one! Working on releasing and letting go of those controlling tendencies have proved to be better for my mental and physical health than I could have ever imagined.
Working with beginners, and singing out and about around town, I constantly hear misconceptions about being a musician. For those that don’t do it, they make it sound unattainable, or like it’s for an elite few. I have been around and in music my whole life in some capacity. I’ve studying it, trained in different forms, and played in different fields - all sporadically. And, I watch beginners pick up stuff faster than me all the time. It makes me sad to think the world could be missing out on your creations, your voice, because you believed you had to have something you don’t. I’m dispelling myths today!
I've written many times about Change being hard. This is the first year I've considered that maybe it doesn't have to be. Living a life with greater ease, authenticity, more grace, compassion, inspiration and flexibility comes through letting go of limiting beliefs, and yes, control. Is perfection just letting it all be?
Here in the darkest of days, I’m seeing better than ever. I see the rewards of my curiosity; my endurance of some hard times and finding more ease with life. Creating a flexible mind is a matter of practice and muscle building; perhaps a different variety, but just as important as flexibility for our bodies.
Can we believe our way into our best life?
We are wired to believe…something. Often we hold onto beliefs that don’t serve us any longer. Beliefs are not necessarily truth or facts, and they are so powerful, they can limit us and keep us stuck and/or imbue us with unwavering confidence. You can choose.
I would have denied being a perfectionist at one time. I never thought that was a good thing. Turns out, I was right; it’s not a good thing, but I sure was one! Working on releasing and letting go of those controlling tendencies have proved to be better for my mental and physical health than I could have ever imagined.
Our human need to be seen and heard can be fulfilled through singing; it can also be why we are afraid to sing. Approaching it as a form of expression; a stillness with a little vibration can be a nice entry. And, knowing that all sounds are welcome! You have permission to express and vocalize that expression!
Working with beginners, and singing out and about around town, I constantly hear misconceptions about being a musician. For those that don’t do it, they make it sound unattainable, or like it’s for an elite few. I have been around and in music my whole life in some capacity. I’ve studying it, trained in different forms, and played in different fields - all sporadically. And, I watch beginners pick up stuff faster than me all the time. It makes me sad to think the world could be missing out on your creations, your voice, because you believed you had to have something you don’t. I’m dispelling myths today!
Our ego can be easily wounded. Our identity often gets wrapped up in ego. The essence of our true self isn't our astrological sign, or our Myers Briggs results, or our enneagram number. Those markers can help you figure out how you operate, can be a guide for how best others can communicate and be in relationship with you. Identity can hold limiting beliefs.
Grieving a loss, exploring a new hobby, ready to face a fear, needing a fun creative outlet, getting technical support, seeking emotional support, looking to find oneself through one’s voice… these are but a few of many reasons people come for voice lessons. Once upon a time, it may have been for the elite, career seeking, but for a long time, they are mostly to bring people to a joyful and peaceful place with their voice.
My neighbors planted tulips on the side of their fence that faces me. In the summer, there will be sunflowers there. It feels like a personal gift for Spring and Summer.
I have become a lover of the change of seasons; all of them.
I wrote an article for Singing In Popular Musics: Change of Seasons; Change of Heart
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Change of Seasons; Change of Heart explores the gift season shifts give us to pause and reflect. Last year brought big changes for me and my work, including adding NC Beach retreat offerings exploring our Heart - Voice connection and Redefining Performance.
What reflections and changes are blooming for you at this spring?
I was thinking what it would mean for me - To be a “good” singer. Some days it would mean that I have fun when I’m singing. Sometimes it means that I can self-soothe and relax and destress; that kind of singing feels relaxing. Being “good” is when I’m affectively expressing emotions. “Good” singing is communicating and connecting. We all might mean something different when we say “good”. What singer do you think of, and what makes them “good” in your mind?
Change can be Good.
With so much unwanted and unexpected change in 2020 and 2021, I am now seeing the other side of processing loss, grief, finding rest and more ease; and even the good.
Change can reflect growth and flexibility. Welcome or not, it can definitely be a challenge. So, why not look for the good when it is certainly inevitable.
I didn’t warm to the idea of trying songwriting until I was 40 years old. Maybe like many of you who don’t write songs, I thought, “I can’t do that.” It was a quick gut instinct; the kind I now recognize as fear of the unknown. Also, there were so many great songs already in the world to sing. Until I started telling and singing my own stories, I didn’t know that I’d been missing out on a whole world of and meaning and connection through music.
“You’re so sensitive!” - used to be (still is?) a playground to boardroom taunt.
I’m a sensitive person; a Highly Sensitive Person! I grew up being embarrassed of my thin skin, crying too easily. I’ve learned to accept, treasure and even be proud of my Sensitivity. It’s what makes my life special and meaningful.
My Senses are sharp…
“She’s right,” Keith will say to someone.
Then I’ll say (humbly teasing of course), “That’s my favorite sentence.”
Who doesn’t like to be right? It’s so settling; so satisfying.
It’s safe. I’m right, therefore I’m all good.
And, the NEED for me to be right gets in the way. It can get in the way of relationship making, in creating, in teaching. And, I've found, that it is often relative.
We are thinking and feeling beings. Our society has not been so good at valuing feelings as much. They sure are important!! They are ruling much of our behaviors, actions and relationships. I’m breaking down some info on the nervous system to appreciate how we’re made and understand the value of knowing the Mind Body connection.
Many of us did not grow up processing emotions in a healthy way. We were taught (sometimes by example alone) to push them down or let them explode. Processing, feeling our feelings, and communicating with others about them is a complex act in this world. I was lucky that I had singing in my life; I was naturally letting my nervous system regulate not knowing that I’d likely explode without it. Even still, I’ve had to do the academic and body attunement of learning how to process and communicate emotions as an adult, which is leading to easier relationship building.
