First things first…
My blog moved over to Substack in 2024 - click on over and catch up.
From most directions, it looks like music is my life. I’ve been a singer of some variety my whole life, it’s in my blood - my grandfather was a music minister. I became a voice teacher. I became a songwriter. Being a musician has been a big part of my identity, for a looong time.
I turned 50 this year. I lost my Dad three years ago; my Mom to Alzheimer’s around the same time. I’ve been in a deep existential dive the last few years.
This has been my year of clarity in many ways. As I’ve worked hard the last decade to find myself and build a life I never thought I could dream up, I tried something new this year. I started most days out with: “what could be easy today.” I discovered at the start of this year that I had an old back logged story working in my subconscious - I believe people can change - I’m prooof, AND… it’s soooo hard. I had a friend that picked up on this and inquired: Does it have to be?
I don’t know how much of my clarity and ease has come from that simple curiosity, and/or that I’ve got some distance from the immense grief that had me pinned down. My experience with grief, so far, is that it’s always there, even just a little. Every once in awhile I’ll get stuck, or baited, or angry, or tender and weepy about something, and I notice it’s presence. I imagine it always will be in some ways. It’s starting to feel like an old friend.
I had a bit of an identity shift this year. I’ve started thinking of myself as a philosopher. Fun little fact about me: I minored in Philosophy and Religion in school. My family thought I might go into the ministry, be like my granddad, but as i de- and re-constructed my beliefs and thoughts around religion in those college years and beyond, I knew that wasn’t my path.
I find myself in conversation with people about beliefs all the time; the ones that get subconsciously ingrained through our upbringing, even if church wasn’t in that equation. We have beliefs about ourselves, our bodies, our voices, the way things should or shouldn’t be. And, so many of them were planted out of fear or the need for approval, which often can mask as safety.
So I’ve been continuing to uncover limiting beliefs within myself when they pop their head out of the sand. They can appear when I sing a song, when I have a difficult conversation with my sweetheart or friend, when a client challenges something I say, or in the way I think about, or judge myself.
Some of my ease this year has come from questioning that belief that change has to be hard, and is also due to my focus on self-compassion. Those exercises and practices ease the inner critic, they help me let go of things, and they allow for more mess. I’ve found peace in the dichotomy that nothing has to be perfect AND I’m perfect just the way I am.
Over on Substack you’ll find my musings on finding my superpowers, revealing the healing nature of the voice, finding authenticity, flexibility, grace, being good enough, inspiration, the gift of letting go of control, gifts from the sea, finding peace with my body, finding connection with our audiences, with the stage, and even my own relationship with music. And more…
Willie Nelson, when asked why we love sad songs, said that they make us feel less alone. I’ve been writing on stories of my heart this year, looking for connection, hoping to feel less alone, and if you can relate, maybe the same is true for you. We all have so many of the same limiting beliefs, doubts and inner judgments. My hope is that when we each to the investigative work on ourself, then our connections become sweeter and more healing to fuel us in our journey of life.
Mind-Body coaching brings some ease into this sometimes hard work. My healing be a can be an energetic beacon and balm while doing your deep dive. I can hold other people’s pain well (hint: superpower). How do you need your voice to show up to support you in your life?