I love change of seasons - a time of reflection, renewal. Gives me a chance to check in, take a pause, evaluate.
The summer solstice has us facing closer to the sun. We sure do feel it here in the Southern US! 🥵
The heat aside, the idea of being closer to this magnificent energy source, revealing in the light, gives me strength of spirit.
In my song “Up on Stage” I liken the feeling to “standing in the sun”. Up on stage I’m seen; I’m heard.
This particular solstice, I’m grateful for revelations and growth and healing found in these last 6 months.
I reached out to a Grief & Life Transition Coach at the time of the winter solstice. I was worried. I was worried I couldn’t do my job anymore. I was worried I didn’t want to sing anymore. I was depressed. Of all the anxieties and stress that I’ve gone through in my life, I’d never felt like I did last fall.
Just making the call, reaching out for the help, alleviated some of the heaviness. Isn’t that the way? I’ve noticed that happens. The resolve to want change, and ask for it, allows the space for the possibility. So cool!
There was introspective work, and more self-compassion work than I expected. Meaning, I thought I was good on that front. I was surprised how much more I needed.
Clarity unfolded, ease of grief came, desires presented themselves. I found joy in singing again. I found a new rhythm in coaching that has given me insight to impart to clients.
I made sure I got more than adequate rest. I said “no” to more things that allowed more rest or other adventures/connections.
I’ve been writing and creating and imagining a world I want to live in, to sing in, to commune in. And, now I’m creating it.
I offered my first Heart-Voice connection retreat, and had a transformative time with some beautiful beings wishing to use their voices for healing and creating in the world. I’m excited about offering more experiences (look for the fall!).
And here we are at the Summer Solstice. And, I’ve decided to change my view on performing.
After his 1992 Jammin in New York special, comedian George Carlin recognized that for the first time he was more of an artist than a performer. There’s a great documentary on him on HBOMax (highly recommend).
Distinguishing the difference of delivering art and performing it. Interesting. And, of course, that resonates me. I got on stage very early in life. Most of it was for other people. Then, it was just my life. And it was for show, mostly pretending, entertaining. I was a pretty good faker. Check on your people-pleasers!
Working with my clients the past couple of weeks on redefining performance, we’re digging into being worthy, connecting, comforting the nervous system. And, asking ourselves as audience members, as humans, if we could stop the judgmental dialogue that runs rampant in our minds.
Beginning performers often worry about what other people will think, because we are a judgmental people.
Peter Levine explains that our nervous system no longer gets the satisfaction of survival release b/c of our modern society; that we’ve been disconnected from our bodies, and now put a lot of energy into our thoughts and also confuse them for reality.
“Thoughts, unfortunately, are poor surrogates for experienced aliveness and when disconnected from feelings, they result in corrosive rumination, fantasy, delusion and excessive worry.
Such perseveration is not really surprising as the paranoid tendencies toward concern for potential threat in the face of ambiguity might have had a significant adaptive advantage in earlier times.
Now, however, it is the currency of our judgmental, negative super ego. On the other hand, when we are informed by clear body sensations and feelings, worry is diminished while creativity and a sense of purpose are enhanced.”
Peter Levine is a psychotherapist who created Somatic Experiencing, a therapeutic model that helps heal trauma and other stress disorders. SE is the result of the multidisciplinary study of stress physiology, psychology, ethology, biology, neuroscience, indigenous healing practices, and medical biophysics, with more than 45 years of successful application.
When I first entered into therapy 8 years ago, I worked with a Somatic Experiencing practitioner. Being in touch with my body has been a foundation to my healing, and I’m convinced makes performing easier. I don’t feel the need to pretend on stage anymore.
I’m grateful for these months of renewal and healing and growth.
I’m grateful for friends that let me come over to take a dip in their pool on these hot hot days before our true summer arrival.
I’m grateful to be at peace and standing and shining in the sun this season of my life.
And, if you are in darker times and need some help, I highly recommend these resources…
Kristin Neff’s work on Self-Compassion
Brene Brown’s new Atlas of the Heart - book & HBOMax series
Somatic Experiencing - Healing
Kelly with KH Healing Arts