I saw this post by @kayleerosetherapy back in the fall, and it hit me in just the way I needed. I often struggle with wanting to make the “right” decision. This stress is likely compounded by the evangelical religious traumatic upbringing, living up to the “good girl” image I was taught, and ultimately worrying if I make the wrong decision, the world will end - hello anxiety symptom of catastrophic thinking! Seeing this post helped me make the decision to buy my house. It’s a big decision; big decisions are hard. Shoot! I’m a 9 on the Enneagram; any decision can be Hard!

Why is change hard? There is discomfort, fear of the unknown. It is more work, more energy in transition.

It felt right in so many ways that it was time for a change, a transition, to have a space where I could make my own studio what I wanted it to be. Good timing (?) during a pandemic, not using my commercial space for months. Trust me. I’ve questioned it. And, good grief. Now there’s yard work, and when (not if!) something goes wrong, I’ll have to take care of it. And then, the break-in 2 months after moving in. It all made winter a little harder, darker and gloomier for sure.

And, yet, this image brings me comfort. “Life is just an experiment”… let’s see what happens next. I really need to hear “There is no ‘right’ way to do this living thing” everyday! I still had to feel in my gut that it was a ‘right’ decision for now.

And, it’s also so relatable to singing! Let’s experiment with sound; let’s see what the voice can do, or ‘what it wants to do’ today. I say that almost everyday. Every once in a while someone asks why, and I remind them that the voice is different every day. It’s affected by our physical and mental health, even the weather can affect it. So, when I ask “how are you today?” - whether they decide to tell me the depths of it, I can usually hear it in their voice. It’s a window to the heart and soul.

We are often so resistant to the natural transition spots in our voice. You know the ones; we often call it “the break”. If you’ve worked with me any, you know I try and avoid that term, because nothing is broken! It’s a feared sound and sensation, and it is really necessary for communication.

A squeal of delight should sound lighter than a yell for help or to alert anger/danger which has a heavier sound. Both are high in pitch. In nature and in art, both sounds are important and valid.

Imagine the loss of intimacy and sweetness of Sarah McLaughlin’s voice in Angel if she sang it with the weight of an Adele-like belt. We’d lose out on the intended emotion. Can you imagine Aretha’s version of Respect with a soft sultry Norah Jones lightness? Beautiful, but wrong intention.

Of course, the work we do most in the studio is training the muscles to make the louder sound higher. That’s the aesthetic many of our favorite singers are using. We interpret it as powerful and passionate, and indeed, usually when you hear the voice used this way in a song, it is expressing an intense emotion- excitement, pain, frustration, and the like.

The thinner vibration of the vocal folds that happens more naturally on higher pitches is rarely used in speech as adults. We might hear it in the “aw” of seeing a cute puppy/baby. Or, the higher “oh no” of sympathy. We need that softness and lightness to express those emotions. Those emotions appear in songs too!

This transition in the voice is just that; a transition that requires work. Sometimes it’s hard. We’re asking our instrument to change gears through the range as smoothly as possible, or asking muscles to hold on and work harder and stronger than they normally have to in speech. It is a specific kind of training. And, it can be scary; like most change. The more you practice the muscle exchange, and the exercises, the easier it gets. It’s helpful to flex those muscles in real life too.

Making decisions about life got easier for me after I did some heavy-lifting and had to face some big changes several years ago. The house was the first big decision I’ve had to make in a while. Buying the house was linked to moving my studio too. Two big decisions. I did the final studio move out in February and am awaiting the completion of my home studio space in a couple of months. It’s a lot of change!!

It’s still an adjustment, and even though it’s just been 6 months, I’m already fantasizing the day I return to apartment living, a pool and a staff to take care of anything that breaks! For now, I’m growing more comfortable with the responsibility and the new memories I’m getting ready to make in the new studio. I can’t wait to have you over!

Xo
julie